SwamiTommy: Your Horoscope Today

You may find yourself wondering why they call them monitor lizards. That's a good question. It's not like they monitor anything. They're just these big, sharptoothed, mean, hideous, stupid nastiest creatures on the planet. If one came in Swami's yard, he would shoot it. There's a cat that comes in Swami's yard, and it's a nice cat. That's OK. But monitor lizards? No way!