Your horoscope Today

It don't get any easier and the stars grow sleazier as universal blight creeps across the Milky Way. You look up and say, what is that thing with the glittering rings? It's Saturn and it's entering the House of Bling. There's no mistaking faking when you can't find the real thing. It's a world of falsehood, but if it looks good, eat it. Eat it hard.

Horoscope Today

March to your own drummer, be your own boss, don't just whistle Dixie, make your own kind of music, be in with the in crowd, jump off that treadmill and get into the rat race. Don't even apply pressure and look: Half the cola spill is absorbed. Did you get that, Camera Guy? Sham Wow!